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Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus: The Classic Guide To Understanding The Opposite Sex (Full Audiobook by Dr. John Gray)
The most well-known, long-lived, tried-and-tested relationships guide ever: the phenomenal #1 New York Times bestseller "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus"...
In this classic guide to understanding the opposite sex, Dr. John Gray provides a practical and proven way for men and women to improve their communication by acknowledging the differences between their needs, desires, and behaviors.
No other relationship guide on the market will give you the same level of evidence-based insight sure to help you strengthen and nurture your relationships for years to come.
Gray writes how men and women each monitor the amount of give and take in relationships. If the balance shifts, one person feeling they have given more than they have received, resentment can develop.
This is a time when only communication can help to bring the relationship back into balance.
Gray further asserts men and women view giving and receiving love differently, how individual actions intended as loving expressions are "tallied up."
According to Gray, women and men are often surprised to find their partners "keep score" at all, or that their scoring methods widely differ.
He says women use a points system which few men are aware of. Each individual act of love gets one point, regardless of magnitude.
Men, on the other hand, assign small acts, small expenditures, fewer points. Larger blocks of points (20, 30, 40 points, etc.) go to what they consider bigger expenditures.
To a woman, the emotional stroke delivered by sincere attention is inseparable from the act.
The different perception of expenditure can lead to conflict when the man thinks his work has earned him, say, 20 points and deserves corresponding recognition, while the woman has assigned him only 1 point and recognizes him accordingly.
The man tends to think he can do one Big Thing for her (scoring 50 points) and not do much else, assuming he has "banked" points and can afford to "coast."
The woman should be satisfied with his performance and give him credit for it.
Instead, the woman would rather have many little things done for her on a regular basis, because women like to think their men are thinking of them and care for them more constantly.
Gray clarifies how these two perceptions of "strokes" cause conflict. He encourages talking about these issues openly.
Another major idea put forth in Gray's book regards the difference in the way the genders react to stress. Gray states when male tolerance to stressful situations is exceeded, they withdraw temporarily, "retreating into their cave", so to speak.
Often, they literally retreat: for example, to the garage, or to go spend time with friends. In their "caves", men (writes Gray) are not necessarily focused on the problem at hand.
Yet this "time-out" lets them distance themselves from the problem and relax, allowing them to re-examine the problem later from a fresh perspective.
Gray holds that male retreat into the cave has historically been hard for women to understand. When women become unduly stressed, their natural reaction is to talk with someone close about it (even if talking doesn't provide a solution to the problem at hand).
This sets up a natural dynamic where the man retreats as the woman tries to get closer, which becomes a major source of conflict between them.
The "wave" is a term Gray uses to describe a natural dynamic centered around a woman's ability to give to other people.
He writes when she feels full of love and energy to give to others, her wave is stable. When she gives of herself but doesn't receive adequate love and attention in return, her wave becomes unbalanced, cresting and eventually crashing.
Then, a woman needs the attention, listening, understanding, and reassurance of those around her—as well as self-love.
The WISDOM Of REAL WOMEN: Sex, Romance, Money, Marriage & What Women Want From Men In A Relationship
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